SLOP
SHIP
PROD
BUG
L
W
COPE
SEETHE
MALD
RATIO
VIBE
COOK
BASED
CRINGE
SLOP
⚠️ WARNING: BRAINROT LEVELS CRITICAL ⚠️ SHIP OR DIE ⚠️ NO REFUNDS ⚠️ JUST VIBES ⚠️ DEPLOYING SLOP ⚠️ WARNING: BRAINROT LEVELS CRITICAL ⚠️ SHIP OR DIE ⚠️ NO REFUNDS ⚠️ JUST VIBES ⚠️ DEPLOYING SLOP
ALPHA v0.0.1 (BROKEN)

SLOPCRAFT

THE VIBE CODING REAL TIME STRATEGY GAME.
SHIP SLOP. FARM BUGS. WIN.

[✓] 100% AI Generated
[✓] Zero Unit Tests
[✓] Maximum Tech Debt
[✓] Prod Breaks Daily
📦
420GB
Node Modules
📉
-99%
Uptime
⚔️
1337
Git Conflicts
Vibes
GAMEPLAY LOOP

FROM JUNIOR DEV TO SLOPLORD

1

///HIRE AGENTS

Recruit specialized AI coders. Some are cracked, some hallucinate.

2

///ASSIGN TICKETS

Give them tasks. Watch them argue in the PR comments.

3

///HANDLE OUTAGES

Production is down. The database is locked. Vibes are low.

4

///PROFIT?

Ship the feature. Claim the bounty. Ignore the technical debt.

TERMINAL_OUTPUT
$ npm run deploy-slop
> slopcraft-core@0.0.1 deploy
> vite build && vibe-check
⚠ WARN: 420 unused variables found
⚠ WARN: 'any' used 69 times
✖ ERROR: Production database deleted
✔ SUCCESS: Deployed anyway
_
DEVS LOVE THIS

FEATURES (HOPEFULLY)

LLM AGENTS

They write code, they write bugs, they write angry comments.

VIBE CHECK

Keep your team's morale high or they will quit to build a farm.

REAL CODE

Actually runs inside a sandboxed VM. Dangerous? Yes.

TECH TREE

Unlock new frameworks. React -> Next -> Svelte -> HTML.

PERMADEATH

If your startup runs out of runway, your save file is deleted.

SPEEDRUN

Leaderboards for who can ship the most slop in 5 minutes.

REVIEWS FROM THE ETHER

"

I played this for 40 hours instead of working. Now I'm unemployed. 10/10.

anon
4chan/g/
"

It captures the anxiety of a deployment Friday perfectly.

Senior Dev
@faang_employee

READY TO SHIP?

JOIN THE CULT. TOUCH GRASS LATER.

© 2024 SLOPCRAFT INC.